There are days
When I have to remind myself to breathe.
A flash-flood of emotions
Form barricades in my throat
And I forget, momentarily, that I have a voice.

My blood
Charges at my blood vessels;
It is my destroyer, my enemy,
And I barely keep my head afloat
As my body sinks in a deluge.

It feels
As if the ground beneath my feet
Has cracked;
A hurricane that brews inside the womb
Of this Earth
Sucks me in, renders me helpless.

But today was not one of those days.

Today, I read a book which broke my heart
And made me smile at the same time.

I watched a movie,
Alone,
And snuggled into a blanket of warmth
My mother left at the foot of my bed.

I painted,
Laughed like a toddler as my father
looked at me with bewilderment.
Watercolours smeared like war-paint
On my cheeks and my hands.

Today was a good day.

And days like these are the branches
I hold on to,
As I flow along a river of desperation,
Thrown from shore to shore,
I go back in time,
to days like today;
Days when I did not have to remind myself to breathe.
Days when I was happy.
Days when the sunset symbolised a new beginning,
not just another end.

Thinking about good times
Don’t always bring me happiness.
But they remind me that happiness exists.

And once I reach the end of this river,
The end of this phase,
I can find happiness again.